Have you been following lick of the week (with ear training)? That is exactly what you are asking for here, and will really help!
As long as your bends are in pitch and you are using the right harp, with the right scale, experimenting WILL work. It just takes some practice. Forget what that jam band told you. It’s not true that you MUST blow the notes that match the chords root note, who ever told you that is speaking absolute rubbish.